she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
