week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
