I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
