Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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