he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize