It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize