I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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