My hand turned me down
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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