my phone needs a breathalizer
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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