i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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