And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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