he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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