Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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