Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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