proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
