im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just threw up on my dentist
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
