Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
