I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
