shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
