I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
