it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
