Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have fence marks all over my body
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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