I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
