I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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