so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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