I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He felt like a one man threesome
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
not ubering you a puppy
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