She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
