Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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