You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
