just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
