I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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