My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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