and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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