HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want a musical about memes.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
