this boner is exhausting
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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