you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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