.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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