Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
