That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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