Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
