Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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