Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
