You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
