I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
