no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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