ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
