Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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