dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dick very happy bro
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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