don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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