somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Two words: blizzard sex
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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