But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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