u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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