you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
