he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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