drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize