I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
