Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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