a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You work out of a Hotel?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
